Communication Bytesã

It's said that in life we get what we communicate. We think all of our communication is with words when in reality only 7% is the words we use! Tone of voice is 38% and the rest, 55% is body language. If words comprise so little of our communication then it's in our best interest to use them effectively.

The number one quality that sets a Leader of people apart from a manager of people is their ability to communicate. Techniques and skills are great but if you can't get through to each individual you're wasting a valuable resource. The best managers and leaders are those who can communicate their message in such a way that others just naturally want to get on board. Unfortunately, most people think they communicate better than they actually do. What's missing is an understanding of how people communicate because we don't all do it the same.

Not only do we communicate with others in a specific way, we also process the information or communication in our own way. For instance, some of us like to see what you're talking about. We like for you to paint pictures with words. Others only like to hear about it and still others have to get a feeling about it for it to get through to them. And then there are those that have to have everything make sense.

With all these things going on, it's no wonder we miss-communicate. To help you out, here are some simple tips to increase your communication excellence.

1.) The meaning of your communication is the response you get!   

If the other person is not "getting it", repeating what you've said or raising your voice won't get the message across any better. It's your responsibility to communicate in such a way that the other person can understand. Therefore, change the way you're communicating!

2.) People like people who are like them.

Become similar to another by matching nonverbal behavior. Adjust your body to match their posture, tilt of head, gestures or curve of the spine. You can match almost any behavior; even breathing and blinking.

3.) Feed them their words.

Listen for words or phrases used repeatedly by the other person. Once you identify them, sprinkle them in your conversation. Your co-worker will feel like you really "get them".

4.) Stop the inner dialogue.

Instead of fully listening to another, many people start  formulating what they are going to say even before the other person has finished speaking.

 

Stop the inner talk and count to 3 before speaking when you think they're through. This ensures they are finished and allows you to respond to ALL that was said.

5.) Say "I" instead of "you".

In a disagreement, refrain from using the word "you". This sounds too much like blaming. Instead use phrases starting with "I". Be careful of using this in such a way that it still comes across as a criticism, such as "I feel you are doing a lousy job." Instead say something like, "I am concerned with the quality of work we are producing."

6.) Avoid the word "but". 

Using "but" negates everything said preceding it. Instead, use a bridge word like "and". For instance, if you say, "I like what you did, but it needs improvement", all they hear is "it needs improvement". Better to say, "I like what you did AND it needs improvement."

7.) Say it the way you want it. 

The subconscious mind cannot process a negative. If I say to you, "Don't think of a blue tree", you will have to think of a blue tree in order to process what I said. So tell them how you really want it instead of what you don't want.